Coming to Terms with Death

Many people are reluctant to talk about dying. However, the reality is that death can come to any one of us at any time. Accepting this fact allows us to live more mindfully, appreciating what truly matters in our lives. On this page, you will find links to resources and events designed to help you become more comfortable with conversations about death. Planning ahead becomes much easier—and life more fulfilling—when we embrace the reality of death as part of the human experience.
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Three Reasons to Talk About Death with Your Family

  1. It Can Help Ease Fear and Anxiety
    Avoiding discussions about death can often increase stress and anxiety due to uncertainty. By talking openly about death, you may find greater peace of mind. Planning your funeral in advance can also alleviate worries, making the subject feel less daunting. This conversation can bring clarity to your loved ones about your end-of-life wishes, easing the burden on them should an unexpected death occur.
  2. It Can Strengthen Relationships
    Discussing a significant topic like death offers an opportunity to deepen your connections with family members. By sharing thoughts on death and the afterlife, you can better understand each other’s preferences for when that time comes. These conversations not only strengthen family bonds but also ensure that everyone’s wishes are clearly understood.
  3. It Can Spark More Important Conversations
    Many people, after a loved one passes, regret not having talked about their final wishes or care plans. Having open discussions about death can naturally lead to conversations about other critical topics, like medical care, legal arrangements, and future plans. This ensures that everyone feels more prepared, confident, and at peace with the decisions that need to be made.

How to Start The Conversation

Starting a conversation about death isn’t easy, but there are helpful tools available to guide you. If you’re a parent, a good way to begin is by telling your children that you’d like them to understand your final wishes. Approaching the topic from a practical standpoint can make the discussion feel less daunting and more comfortable for everyone involved.

Death Cafes

A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief support or counselling session.
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At a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death. The objective is 'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'. Death Cafes are held around the world and are a growing movement. A death cafe embraces the following guiding principles:
  • On a not for profit basis
  • In an accessible, respectful and confidential space
  • With no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product or course of action
  • Alongside refreshing drinks and nourishing food – and cake!
If you're interested in holding a Death Cafe please see their how-to guide

More information

McGill's death café 'a safe space' to talk about life and death (CBC News, Posted: Feb 27, 2019)
How to Create a Death-Positive Mindset (Dr. Karen Wyatt)
Podcast: Aging Well: 100 is the New 80 (​Dr. Karen Wyatt and her guest Larry George, MD)
Talking About Death – Games and conversation starters (Compassionate Alberta)